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Spoiled Yogi

Yoga & mindfulness inspiration for moms including Prenatal Yoga, Postnatal Yoga, Mom & Baby, Yoga Inspiration for Moms - online & in Charleston SC

Spoiled Yogi

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Peaceful, Present, and Prepared Birth

5 Yoga Cues to Help Students Tap into Their Intuition

I love making interesting shapes with my body as much as the next yoga teacher. But if there’s one thing I want my students to get from my yoga classes, it’s not a “more advanced” version of a Handstand. It’s a deeper trust in themselves — an understanding that their bodies are wise, and should be the ultimate authority on what poses they take, when, and to what degree. Skillful yoga cues, or verbal instructions, are a powerful way to get that point across.

As a teacher, however, it can be a challenge to articulate trusting your intuition in yoga, especially in a way that goes with them when they leave the yoga room.

The old stand-by “listen to your body” is a good start, but many students don’t fully understand what this means. Not to mention it’s one of those yoga cues that gets repeated so often in yoga classes, it can become more like background noise. It’s a nice thing to hear, but it doesn’t make students take pause or encourage them to do (or not do) anything.

So what’s a well-meaning yoga teacher to do? If you want to help your yoga students learn to trust their intuition above all else, give them the opportunity to practice this skill every time they unroll their mats. 

Here are 5 yoga cues to encourage yoga students to listen to their intuition.

1. Pause here and notice if your breath is still slow and even. What is your breath telling you? 

Why it works: 

The breath is often the most accessible way to “listen to your body” because it’s tangible. It’s easy to notice if you’ve shifted from a slow, steady breath to a holding pattern, erratic pace, or chest breathing. 

See also Yoga Breathing to Reduce Stress

2. Notice what your body is craving right now, and let yourself go there.

Why it works: 

In yoga class, we often go into “follow along” mode, meaning we try our best to follow what the teacher is saying exactly. 

Don’t get me wrong, listening to your teacher is a good skill. But we don’t want to create students who are always looking outside themselves for answers.

Instead, this cue encourages your student to bring their awareness into their bodies and discern for themselves what they need at any given time. 

3. It’s OK to linger in any position that feels good. 

Alternative: Feel free to stay here or move on to the next pose.

Why it works:

This cue gives your students permission to interrupt a flow to do their own thing for a bit. It sends a clear signal that their intuition trumps any external instructions. For many people, yoga class is the only safe space where they get to practice ignoring the suggestions of others and doing what they know is right for them. And that makes it extra impactful and important.

4. Reconnect with your intention for practicing today.

Why it works: 

It’s easy to get carried away during a yoga class, especially when your mind is so focused on the physical. It’s human nature to strive to accomplish more. Accomplishing more and more physically challenging poses might be the reason some people practice yoga, but for most people that’s just a small part of a bigger goal. 

This works even if you didn’t  specifically asked your students to set an intention (or Sankalpa) at the beginning of class. You could  mention it during the more challenging moments in class, when I can see jaws clenched and brows furrowed. “Remember your intention for practicing today. Is it to feel more at ease in your body? Or melt stress? Whatever it is, can you make an adjustment to align your pose with that intention?” 

This is gentle reminder to your students that they are in charge of their own experience and have the agency to change their approach when they need to.

5. Now’s your chance to take any last-minute movements, poses, etc. you need to feel your practice is complete. When you’re done settle in for Savasana.

Why it works:

Not everyone can lie down and rest in Savasana on demand. Some people need a little more time to wind down. They might want a moment to get in a pose we didn’t do during class. Or even to grab socks, hoodies, or a blanket. Others, on the other hand, might be exhausted and ready. This cue acknowledges that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to the practice (even Savasana) and  gives both the opportunity to do what works best for them. 

5 Favorite Kids Yoga Poses

I love sharing yoga with my kids, whether they’re sitting close by playing on a tablet or they unroll their own mats and practice alongside me. And while I also fully admit there are times I want to head to my yoga mat to get a break from parenting, most of the time I’m delighted when my kids are involved.

If you’re used to a solo practice, the key to enjoying yoga with kids is to realize it will not be the same as the yoga practice you’re used to. 

But it’s great in its own way.

In today’s post, I’m sharing a few of my favorite poses to do with my daughter. We started practicing together a few times a week right before bed at the beginning of the school year to help soothe her jitters and to give us both some much-needed one-on-one time. 

It’s become a really sweet part of our bedtime routine.

Before you start

Consider buying props 

You don’t need anything special to practice yoga with kids, but if you want to encourage them it might be fun to have a few props, yoga mat, books, or even toys to get them excited about practicing yoga and mindfulness. Check out my last blog post with my list of favorite yoga gifts for kids.

(As long as you’re shopping, you might as well grab yourself a new yoga mat or women’s hoodie, too.) 

Change your mindset

Yoga with kids is different than yoga with other adults. Your little one might run in circles around your mat, climb on your back, and giggle the whole time. That’s OK! It’s very likely what they need to get into the present moment. Your job is to support and let the have fun.

Model the behavior you want to see

I don’t care much about whether or not my daughter is making the pose shapes with good alignment. But what I do care about is if she’s paying attention to how her body feels and taking full, deep breaths from time to time.

Don’t force it

There are evenings when my daughter wants to lead the practice. There are other times she looks to me to come up with poses to do. Last night, we decided to do a video together! (Thanks, Cosmic Kids Yoga!) Each practice looks different. But when she’s done after a couple poses, we wrap it up quickly and move on to something else. The last thing I want is to make our special yoga sessions a chore.

5 Favorite Kids Yoga Poses (for Kids and Parents)

Partner Twist

Come to sit in a comfortable, cross-legged position facing each other with your knees touching. Reach your right hand toward your left knee to come into a twist and have your child do the same. Bring your left hand behind you and around your right hip. Try to catch your child’s hands. Inhale take a big, deep breath in, Exhale twist just a tiny bit deeper.

Repeat to the other side.

Toe-to-Toe Stretch

Try some seated forward bends facing your child. You could try sitting with your legs outstretched out, soles of your feet touching. As you forward fold try to tickle your child’s feet. (They will love to tickle yours too!). 

Another great option is sit in a straddle position, toe to toe with your child. There are lots of options here. Side bend. Forward fold. Twist. 

Cat-Cow

Come to your hands and knees. Let your belly drop, Moo. Lift your spine and look toward your belly button, Meow. Then try adding in the breath.

Lizard on a Rock

This is my daughter’s favorite. Have the adult come into Child’s Pose. Your child will scoot in behind you until you are sacrum to sacrum. Then, have your child lie down, reaching their arms overhead. You can gently pull their hands to give them a bigger stretch. 

You can try letting your child pretend to be the rock next if your child is big enough not to be crushed under your weight. 🙂 My daughter is 8, and she’s fine.

Partner Savasana

No yoga practice is complete without at least a minute or two of Savasana. Now my daughter LOVES Savasana, especially before bed. But this wasn’t always the case. We usually lie side by side and hold hands for a few minutes before we wrap up our practice. But if you have a younger child, who you know won’t lie still, try having them sit in your lap while you both take a few slow, deep breaths together to finish out the practice.

Do you practice yoga with your little one? Tell me your favorite pose in the comments section below.

20 Yoga Gift Ideas for Kids

I have always loved sharing yoga with my kids. It has been one of my greatest joys creating both yoga classes for kids and classes where kids are welcome to join their parents (or play close by).

Why? Because I’ve seen how yoga and mindfulness practices benefit kids directly (when they practice yoga themselves)… and also indirectly ( when their caregivers practice). 

I want this for your family, too.

Here’s the truth: You don’t need anything special to share yoga with your child. 

But if you’d like to get a few things to encourage a healthy habit, I’ve created a list of yoga gift ideas for kids your little one is going to love — and they’re all available (and on sale right now!) through Amazon!

*Note: If you purchase through one of my links, I get a small commission that helps support this website and the work I do sharing yoga.

Yoga Props for Kids

Toys and Games for Yoga Kids

Yoga Books for Kids

Other Yoga Gift Ideas for Kids

Yoga Props for Kids

Yoga Mat for Kids by Gaiam

Yoga Mat for Kids

These mats are a smaller than adult yoga mats, perfect for kids 2-8 years. (Though, my daughter is 8 and she still loves hers!) I love that there are cute designs printed on them so you can get one that matches your child’s personality. 

Yoga Strap for Kids

Yoga strap for kids

I love this colorful strap. It’s kid-sized and the design is so much more fun than a traditional, adult yoga strap, too.

Foam Yoga Blocks

foam yoga blocks

This block set isn’t made for kids … but having a few light, foam blocks around can be so much fun when you’re practicing yoga with kids. They can use them as stepping stones. If you have enoug you can line them up to make a balance beam. Every yoga family needs a few foam yoga blocks.

Mini Yoga Bolster

mini yoga bolster, perfect for kids

Have you ever tried setting a child up into a restorative pose with a traditional bolster? They’re just way too big for their little bodies. This bolster is smaller, offering better support for kids. 

Eye pillows

lavender eye pillows

Because we all have a hard time settling into Savasana (Final Resting Pose) sometimes. Kids love eye pillows, too! And, yes, this set intentionally has two — one for your child, and one for you!

Play Juggling scarves

juggling scarves

I love these colorful scarves for open-ended play! But they’re fun for yoga, too. Play freeze dance and freeze into a yoga pose when the music stops. Put one around your child’s shoulders like a cape for Salambasana (Locust Pose) and pretend to be a super hero. The possibilities are endless!

Breathing ball

expansion ball for breathing

This is a great tool for teaching deep breathing. Practice opening the ball up as you inhald and making it small on the exhale.

Yoga Games and Toys for Kids

Wooden Yoga Dice Set

Yoga dice set

This yoga dice set makes choosing poses fun! You don’t have to have any yoga training at all to be able to roll the dice and see what comes up. It includes six dies and 12 cards with kid-friendly yoga pose descriptions so you’re never left wondering what to do next. 

Daisy the Yoga Goat

Daisy the Yoga Goat toy for kids

How cute is this!? This toy does yoga poses, drinks water, and even toots (hey, it happens to all of us!) It’s a fun way to encourage your little one to do yoga and a great reminder for all of us not to ake the practice too seriousl.

Omi, the Mindfulness Elephant

Omi the mindfulness elephant

Meet Omi, the fun, cuddly mindfulness elephant that teaches kids deep breathing, emotional regulation skills, and positive thinking. Place Omi on your belly as he guides you through a mindful breathing exercise.

Breathing pal

Breathing aid toy for kids

This cute little guy will guide you and your child through three different breathing techniques: Box breathing – 4-7-8, box breathing, and 5-5. When the koala changing colors, it’s cue to inhale or exhale.

Meddy Teddy

Meddy Teddy

This spin on the traditional teddy bear has been around for years. I love that you can bend him into the shape of almost any yoga pose, but he still looks cute and cuddly.

Favorite Yoga Books for Kids

Breathe Like a Bear

This adorable book has 30 mindfulness exercises you can try with your child that are “designed to teach kids techniques for managing their bodies, breath, and emotions.”

Llamaste and Friends

This is a sweet story of a llama who helps her friends calm down be brave by showing them simple, practical yoga poses.

Goodnight Yoga

Bedtime is one of the best times for a calming, reflective yoga practice. I love that this book can combine bedtime yoga with a bedtime story ritual (two of my absolute favorite ways to spend time with my kids!).

Yoga Animals

Little kids LOVE pretending to be animals. The simplest way to start practicing yoga with a small child is to simply have them pretend to be different animal shapes, make noises, and pretend. This book would be a fantastic guide.

Yoga for Kids and Their Grown-Ups

Technically this book is for adults, not kids. But if you are interested in leading your child in yoga sessions at home, it has some really good ideas! 

See also Yoga Books for Babies and Toddlers

Other Yoga Gift Ideas for Kids

Positive Affirmation Pillow

affirmation pillow

Perfect for a calm down corner or kids room. I love that there are a variety of colors to choose from (so you can match your child’s room decor). This can also double as a meditation cushion or even a yoga bolster.

Yoga clothes set for girls

yoga clothes for girls

Nothing motivates me to unroll my mat like new athletic wear. I love this set because it has everything your girl could need for yoga. The shirts have inspiring messages on them. There are a few different colors to choose from. And 

Mindfulness sensory stickers

mindfulness sensory stickers

Remind your child of his or her mindfulness practices whenever they are with these sensory stickers. Put them on notebooks, water botters, etc. as a reminder to take a deep breath and re-center themselves.

Do you try to encourage your kids to practice yoga and mindfulness? Tell me what gifts you love to get for your little yogis in the comments section below!

My Favorite Yoga Warm Up Sequence + Videos

Not sure what poses to do when you first unroll your mat for your home practice? You’re in the right place. My favorite yoga warm up sequence will help!

It can be hard enough to motivate yourself to do your yoga practice, but when you’re not sure what to do? Forget it!. 

Fun fact: I initially enrolled in my first yoga teacher training for this very reason. I wanted to practice at home, but I had no idea where to start unless I was following a teacher’s guidance.

My solution is to have a quick sequence of poses you do every time you practice at home as a warm-up. Usually, once you get moving you’ll be able to lean into your body’s intuition and you’ll have no problem coming up with poses to practice.

It’s the best of both worlds. You stick to the plan in the beginning, then you get the freedom and magic that comes from tuning into your own breath, your body, your thoughts.

Need inspiration? Here’s my go-to warm-up sequence for my home practice and classes right now. It works great for any class — including prenatal yoga!

Grab your favorite leggings, cozy hoodie (just until you get warmed up, of course), and your favorite yoga mat … and let’s get started.

My Favorite Yoga Warm Up Sequence

Cat-Cow

Try it: Start on hands and knees. Inhale as you drop your belly, reach your chest forward, and lift your chin slightly. Exhale as you round your back and look in toward your belly. 

Cat-Cow with Leg Extension

This little variation on the traditional Cat-Cow adds an inner thigh stretch into the mix. 

Try it: From a Tabletop position extend your right leg to the side. You want your leg to be at the level of your hip, foot on the floor. Everything else is Cat-Cow as usual. After a few rounds, keep your leg extended and move on to the next pose.

Half Squat

Add your outer hip into the mix with this lovely half squat.

Try it: Start in the extended leg position Tabletop described above. Turn your right toes out slightly. Take a deep breath in. With an exhale bend your right knee and walk your hands toward your right foot. You want your knee to track over your ankle. You might even use your shoulder to nudge that knee outward a bit more to increase the hip stretch. 

Flow: Inhale, walk your hands toward center, and straighten your extended leg’s knee. Exhale, bend your extended leg’s knee and walk your hands toward your foot. Repeat a few rounds. Then, walk your hands back to center to prepare for the next pose. 

Leg Lift (Fire Hydrant) + Cross Body

Because it’s always a good idea to balance stretching with strength work.

Try it: From your Tabletop position with right leg extended to the side. Inhale, lift the whole right leg until it is the height of your right hip, leg parallel to the floor. If you want more hip-strengthening work, tap your toe to the floor and lift a couple of times. Move slowly and with control.

Then, sweep your leg behind you, cross your body, and stretch out your outer hip. 

Flow: Inhale, bring the leg back to its original position extended to the right, hip height. Exhale, swing the leg behind you and tap your toes as far as you can reach at your left side.

Gate Pose

Everyone’s favorite side-body stretch!

Try it: From your extended leg tabletop, walk your hands toward your knees to help yourself come into a kneeling position. Inhale, reach your hands up toward the ceiling. Exhale, keep the length you created in your spine as you stretch your right hand down the right leg. Then, when you’re ready come upright again, and make your way back to your Tabletop (yes, with your leg STILL extended).

Thread the Needle

Get to that spot between your shoulder blades AND the front of your shoulders with this open twist.

Try it: With an inhale, reach your right hand toward the ceiling. Exhale, thread it through the space between your left hand and your left knee, palm facing up, shoulder coming to the floor. Let the side of your head rest gently on the floor. To amp it up, press your left fingertips into the floor to help you spin your collarbones skyward. Or bring your left hand to your sacrum or catch your right hip. Stay for a few breaths, then come back to hands and knees.

Child’s Pose

Come back to hands and knees. Widen your knees a bit and bring your big toes to touch. Sit your hips to your heels. Rest your forehead on your mat. Take 5 grounding breaths before you complete the whole sequence with the left leg extended. Then, continue on with the rest of your yoga session.

Do you have a go-to warm up for when you practice yoga at home? Share your favorite poses in the comments below.

6 Life Lessons from Yoga Class

Yoga is about so much more than stretching. The life lessons I’ve learned on my yoga mat have informed my life in such profound ways it’s hard to describe. 

In this post, I’m going to try to describe them anyway!

Here are just six of the hundreds of ways my time on my yoga mat informs my life in other ways (in no particular order):

1. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. 

Can I practice my nemesis pose, Revolved Triangle, without a block? 

Sure. But when I do that, my spine rounds, my chest caves, my back heel lifts, my brow furrows, and I get pissed off because I hate that *($#) pose so much. 

So many things in life are like this. 

Can I run myself ragged every weekday carting my kids to different activities? Yes. But is that how to achieve our goals of ease and harmony during an already busy work week? No way.

Can I get by wearing the same worn-out women’s running shoes I’ve used for the last three years? Yes, again. But will it be healthy for my body? Nope.

Can I eat candy for dinner every night if I want to? I can. I’m an adult, damn it! But is that a smart choice? 🤔

See where I’m going with this?

Sometimes challenging yourself is exactly what you need. Sometimes you need to practice only the poses that feel good. Other times, you need permission to do less. Or you need to try something different to find a greater balance.

And my yoga practice has helped me immensely to make those types of decisions skillfully.

2. Let go of what doesn’t serve you.

This little aphorism is repeated so much in yoga classes, it’s nearly lost all meaning. Let go of tension. Let go of judgments. Let go of expectations. Let go of toxic people. 

Let it go, let it go, let it go. It was a cliche, even before Elsa. 

And while this instruction is a really great reminder to drop those shoulders away from your ears, consider this: 

You can’t command yourself to stop tensing and expect it to work. It doesn’t work that way. We spent hours (and in some cases YEARS) creating that tension we chronically hold in our shoulders. For most of us, it takes an hour-long yoga class to even begin to unravel that shit. It takes awareness first. Then, skillful movement and breathwork. And finally a bit of acceptance, which finally helps you to stop struggling and soften. The tension dissipates just a teeny tiny bit. 

And guess what? When you come back to your practice tomorrow, you get to do the same thing all over again.

And this is how it works with life, too. Want to “let go” of the clutter in your house that does not serve you? You could throw everything out and vow to never let it back in again. 

But you’re still you. 

And you’ll create that same cluttery mess again if you don’t work on the awareness, skillfully interrupting your patterns, and accepting that this mess is a beautiful part of you, too. 

(Seriously, though, throw out that bra with the underwire that pokes you and get yourself a new, comfy sports bra instead.)

3. Don’t compare yourself to others.

I was triggered recently by a podcast interview. It was with a mom who had managed to build a thriving business as a yoga teacher while she had babies under 3 at home with her. I had this visceral, gut reaction: When my kids were that little, I could barely take care of myself and my little ones! I must have been doing something wrong.

Then I realized that there are so many variables I don’t know about this mom. It’s like looking at Karen in the front row of yoga class with her perfect Handstand. And feeling bad about yours.

Maybe the lady in the front row started taking gymnastics at 2 years old.

Or maybe she’s been taking private lessons for 15 years with a yoga master.

Maybe she was born being able to do that Handstand, but her hamstrings are tight and weak.

We don’t know her story. We don’t know what advantages she’s had to help her get to where she is. So it’s not fair to compare our poses to hers.

And we don’t know what advantages that mom with the booming business has had either. At a minimum, I’m assuming she had some extra hands to help with childcare so she could work on her business. 

I would never minimize her hard work and accomplishments. But I can celebrate her without putting myself down.

4. Your body is a trusted advisor.

When there are countless choices (35,000 decisions a day for average adult… much higher for parents) and opinions everywhere, and it’s too easy to doubt yourself. 

My time on my yoga mat has taught me that when I get confused by conflicting advice, when I’m not sure which way to turn, my body can be like a trusted advisor on decisions small and large.

Try it:

When you consider doing something, does your breath deepen or naturally constrict? Do your muscles feel soft and relaxed, or do you feel tension? (Check with your usual tense areas). Without any external input (advice from friends, blog posts or videos on topic, etc.) what was your first, gut instinct? After you’ve gathered a bit more information, is your gut feeling the same? 

We all have blind spots. And having more information is almost always a good thing. But too often we let ourselves be swayed away from what we know feels right because we can’t explain WHY it feels right.

When there is no clear “right” or “wrong,” trust your body to lead you in the right direction because there is wisdom there that is profound, even if it can’t be explained.

5. It’s normal to fall.

If you don’t try, you’ll never succeed. But the more you try something, no matter what it is, the more you fail. And that doesn’t make you a failure. It shows you’re trying.

This is a lesson I’ve had to learn again and again.

Some days balance feels easy. Some days you fall out of every pose. And what do all beginning yoga students do when we fall? We look around to see if anyone else noticed. But falling out of poses is so normal in yoga class, nobody even looks up. Besides, they’re all trying not to fall themselves.

Falling is a part of the process. It’s how you improve your balance. And it’s an expected part of every balancing pose.

The same is true in life. Try something new. Screw it up. Laugh at yourself. (Because, really, it’s not such a big deal, is it?) 

Learn something. Try again. Repeat until you die. 

6. Rest is productive.

I often joke that, as a yoga teacher, I talk about love and light, non-violence and acceptance … 

But I will tackle you if you try to leave my class before Savasana.

Savasana (Final Resting Pose) is magic. And the emphasis on rest is something I hold most dear about yoga.

Why? Because everywhere else in my life the emphasis is on doing more, going further, trying harder, and pushing through. And I’ve found that you can only push yourself so far before you hit a wall and collapse.

We all want to be productive. But have you ever noticed that in those moments when you’re pushing yourself, you might be able to keep up the facade of “working,” but you aren’t getting much done? Or the things you’re getting done just aren’t your best work. 

It can’t be just me. As humans, we need to work hard and be productive. And we also need time to rest and recharge. Our bodies need rest to rebuild. And our minds need rest and time to meander aimlessly through daydreams and whatever thoughts pop into our heads.  

This is an important, productive time. And my yoga practice reminds me of this every time I hear those magical words “take rest” at the end of a yoga session.

What life lessons have you learned from your yoga class? Comment below and share!

Yoga Retreat on a Budget: How to DIY a Retreat

Yoga Retreat on a Budget

I’ve fantasized about going on a yoga retreat for decades. 

Can you imagine it? Waking up at dawn to meditate and journal before a long yoga on the beach at some exotic location. Luxurious afternoon restorative yoga sessions with aroma therapy. Evenings spent exploring a new town and having dinner with new friends on their own voyage to find inner peace. 

And since this is my fantasy… There are also spa visits and naps.

This is going to be a reality for me one day. But today is not that day. The money isn’t there, and neither is the time.

But you don’t have to have an excess in your savings account (or worse, a willingness to max out your credit cards) to have a yoga retreat-like experience. 

With a little creativity, you can create your own experience in your own city or a nearby city of your choice. I did this recently when my kids went on their own trip. I had some alone time (the first I’ve had in many years!) and time off from work. It was the perfect opportunity to reinvigorate my yoga and meditation practice, catch up on rest and self-care, and truly savor the present moment in a way I don’t often get to in my daily life.

It was glorious. And it’s something I intend to do for myself again the next time I have time to myself.

How to DIY a yoga retreat (on a budget):

Make a loose itinerary. 

When I decided to do a DIY yoga retreat, I knew I’d have to make some plans or my “retreat” would risk turning into a week of chores and Netflix. On the other hand, one of the biggest benefits of being in charge of my own retreat is that I would have the ability to shift things to suit my energy levels, etc. 

So, I started with a loose list of things I wanted to do and made a itinerary. 

Here’s what it looked like:

Daily –

  • Morning meditation and journaling
  • Morning yoga class (try at least one new studio and one new teacher)
  • Afternoon naps
  • Long walks with the dogs
  • Home-cooked meals and snacks with no limitations
  • Evening run through the woods or restorative yoga session
  • Check-in with a friend

Bonus activities –

  • Give myself a pedicure
  • Dye my hair (gotta get rid of those greys!)
  • Listen to an audiobook
  • Take a bath

Choose a time frame.

This was easy for me. I wanted to get the most out of the time my kids were away. I had a long weekend to dedicate to my yoga retreat. But whether you have a week or just a free afternoon, decide when you’re retreating yourself (see what I did there?) and stick to it. 

Don’t skip out on your plans to accommodate someone else. I’ve done this SO many times through the years, especially when my kids were little, and I promise you it’s not worth it. 

Prioritize YOU and fiercely protect your time.

Choose a location + book it! 

I didn’t plan my retreat far in advance, so I decided to stay home. It was lovely.

But next time I think I’ll book an Airbnb in another city for my retreat. If you’re going to another city, I recommend researching yoga studios first and booking a place to stay within walking distance. 

Coming to Charleston, SC? Check out my yoga class schedule!

Yoga Retreat on a Budget: How to Save Money on Your DIY Yoga Retreat

Take advantage of yoga studio intro offers.

Going to a studio for the first time? Most studios have intro offers or first-class free.

Now, I’m all about supporting yoga teachers and studios. But if you need to save money, you could absolutely take a yoga studio tour, take advantage of their “first class free” policy, and spend very little on classes! 

Get cash back with Ratuken. 

This is my favorite way to save money right now. Whatever you buy online you can get anywhere from 1-15% back later just by buying it through the Ratuken app. (I think of it as a bonus discount, and it’s a great way to save on things that rarely go on sale!)

So whether you’ve decided to treat yourself to a new pair of yoga pants, running shoes, or a sports bras for your retreat, you’re staying at a hotel, or you want to book a tour of the city you’re visiting, you can get cash back through Ratuken.

If you don’t already use Ratuken, sign up now! (If you use my link, we’ll both get $30! And you’ll get an extra 10% cash back on things you buy during the intro period. Woot!)

Redeem credit card points.

I recently saw a statistic that 25 percent of credit card rewards go unused. That’s crazy to me! Use your points to offset your retreat. 

(Plus, if you book your retreat on your card you’ll be earning points for your next retreat, too. Just make sure you pay that balance off every month because it’s never a smart move to pay interest!)

3 Surprising Lessons Yoga Taught Me About Comparison

Yoga class in Pigeon Pose

Comparison in yoga…

It happens to the best of us. We’re at a yoga class (or if you’re like me these days you just log in from your living room), look around, and think to ourselves…. Do I even belong here? 

  • My yoga pants are circa 2008. 
  • My backbend isn’t as deep as it used to be. 
  • My once taut belly skin hangs like a hammock from my torso during Plank Pose. (No amount of engaging, zippering, or corseting is going to help the aesthetic… I don’t care what that 22-year-old yoga teacher says.) And let’s not even discuss what’s happening with the girls. (Note to self: Buy new sports bra.*)

These toxic, Mean Girls comparisons happen even more often in other areas of life.

  • When I walk into my kids’ schools, I think everyone can tell I work at home by my worn-out wardrobe and messy hair.
  • My car’s backdoors rarely unlock on cue so sometimes my kids have to climb in through the front in the car line.
  • Other moms manage to feed their children organic vegetables at every meal, lace up their women’s running shoes* to run marathons, and start million-dollar businesses… I struggle to find five minutes for meditation some days.

Why can’t I figure this out and do better?

On yoga and comparison

The better question is this: Why are we so ugly to ourselves? We scrutinize everything from our yoga clothes to our bodies to our parenting prowess. What benefit do we get from this?

The scientific answer is that we’ve evolved to look for the bad—the scary stuff—because if we see a threat first, we can run or hide and save ourselves. It’s about survival. We’re conditioned to look for the negative… and we almost never see the good. Especially in ourselves.

It’s tragic if you think about it. 

Because there’s tons of GOOD around us (and in us!) if we just start looking for it.

And, really, feeling bad about ourselves isn’t going to keep us safe. I

If anything, in today’s world, feeling self-conscious and beating ourselves up only holds us back from our potential. If we don’t believe in ourselves, the people we work with will see that and question us, too. It’s not just about work. Sometimes that means our kids question our leadership and test our boundaries even more than they already do.

I won’t pretend to have the answers. Clearly, I struggle with this as much as anybody else.

But, through the years, I’ve found a few things that have been helping me. Maybe these tips will help you, too. 

3 Things Yoga has Taught me About Comparison and Competition

Make sure the comparison is fair. Don’t compare apples to oranges. 

One of the first lessons I learned as a new yoga student is that it’s not fair to compare yourself to others. 

For example, Karen in the front row might have been a competitive gymnast as a child. If you didn’t have that opportunity growing up, it’s not fair to expect your body to react to yoga as hers does. 

The same is true for parenting. The mom who seems to have it all together on social media might live next door to her parents to give her frequent breaks. She might have a full-time nanny. Or maybe she 

Remember to celebrate your wins. 

Each Friday, I message my friend three wins from the last week. She messages me hers, too, and we practice noticing the good and celebrating. Some weeks it is REALLY hard to think of three wins from my week. (And, yes, I can always think of many more short-comings…)

It takes practice to cultivate awareness of the good things. In yoga, you might have to practice a yoga pose thousands of times, often for many years, to master the little subtleties and techniques involved. (As soon as you think you’ve got it down, you’ll realize there’s more to learn!) 

The same is true for mindset shifts. So, find an accountability partner or take a few minutes to write in your journal at the end of the week and reflect on the GOOD you’re doing everyday. 

Remember you are exactly where you’re supposed to be. 

My yoga practice helps me infinitely with this because it gives me a place to practice accepting myself as I am. My hamstrings are tighter than I want them to be. My backbends aren’t as deep as they once were. I’m tired after just a few Sun Salutations. 

And you know what? That’s OK. 

Because I’ve been living in this body doing things that have to get done for my family. And it’s supposed to be this way in this phase of life.

I remind myself that yoga is a tool to support my life, not the other way around. We all go at different paces and have different bodies. Mine is serving me in exactly the way I need to support my life right now. I’m exactly where I need to be.

I’m incredibly grateful for that.

See also 90+ Positive Affirmations for Every Stage of Life

What lessons have you learned about comparison and competition from your yoga practice? Let’s have an honest conversation. Comment below!

*Denotes sponsored link

Holiday Self-Care for Moms

gift

The holidays are a really magical time—especially for moms with young kids. Unfortunately, this time of year is also the WORST for moms with young kids.

That’s right. It can be both.

Exciting and exhausting.

Magical and maddening,

Full of wonder and insanely over-stimulating.

I used to feel guilty about this. It felt like everyone around me would talk about what fun the holidays are with little kids. Sometimes it felt like I was the only one who also felt the extra was too extra.

When Holiday Extras Extra Exhausting

I’m not kidding. I complained about a week of dress-up days in a community Facebook group a few years back. (Because in the middle of holiday shopping, party planning, and elf moving… I don’t want to get up an extra 45 minus to try to sculpt a 6-year-old’s hair to look like Cindy Lou Who.) I expected the parents there to echo my frustration, but instead, they came after me with pitchforks and called me the Grinch. 

It’s fun for the kids! Yes. It’s also good for kids to have parents who don’t collapse into a puddle of their own drool the second their over-stimulated, over-sugared children finally fall asleep.

No wonder moms are afraid to express feelings of overwhelm… 

As an aside, the holidays are just an exaggeration of what I feel ALL the time as a mom. So, if you’re nodding your head as you read this, you are my people, and you’re not alone. (And if you feel inclined to call me the Grinch, please move along.) 

Opting Out Isn’t Always an Option

So, here’s the deal. I’m not going to give the advice that you don’t have to do all the things. Because you know that. And even if you are really good at saying no, there’s so much emotion tied up in the holidays. 

I said I’d never participate in Elf on the Shelf, but when my kids begged me and said they felt sad when their classmates talked about their elves, I caved. 

No one wants their kids to feel left out or feel slighted, especially this time of year. 

So opting out isn’t a great option for many moms. 

I’m going to do as much as I can. I always do. But I also committed to take more time for myself, too, to balance things out a bit. Is it enough to make me feel energized and joyful all of the time? No. But it absolutely helps. 

(Come January 2nd, I’m reclaiming my time and energy in a BIG way. You should, too!)

Here’s my self-care shortlist to get me through the holidays.

1 – Savasana.

You know you feel at the end of a particularly strenuous yoga class and you finally area allowed to melt into the floor for a luxurious Savasana. I think of the holidays as equally intense (though more mentally than physically). That means I allow myself to skip that asana when I’m short on time (which is always these days), set a timer, and just melt. 

2 – Five-minute meditation sessions.

The second I drop the kids off at school, I sit down on my meditation cushion, open my Insight Meditation app, and take a brain break. 

3 – Get my own presents for the New Year.

After spending at least a month focusing on everyone else, it’s my turn. I already bought an online course for yoga teachers led by my amazing mentors Jason Crandell and Andrea Ferretti (Check it out!).

4 – Invest in some new yoga gear.

I’m kind of a minimalist, so I don’t buy clothes–or anything for that matter—often. But I spend 90% of my time in leggings. I’d rather buy quality yoga clothes that look good and last forever. Oh, and I’ll probably buy a few new sports bras for running while I’m at it. 

(I’m excited to try the new adidas by Stella McCartney collection* because the only thing more luxurious than new yoga clothes is designer workout clothes.

5 – Finding my people.

My Facebook post a while back was an attempt to find my people. And while it was an epic fail, I’ve found tons of people who feel the way I feel. Most of them I’ve met through my yoga classes. I’m planning to offer a new set of classes in January so I can surround myself with people who get it–and help connect those mamas with each other, too.

Click here to get on my email list so you won’t miss them!

How are you staying sane during this busy time? Comment below and tell me.

Everyday Mindfulness + Intimacy

“Just think of it as the way you experience a kiss from your beloved.”

I was 19 years old and it was my first experience of yoga—a college P.E. class that I’d signed up for because it sounded easy.

The teacher was trying to explain the concept of presence to a group of probably 30 college kids who, like me, were there mostly because we had to be.

But this got our attention.

She said it with a wink that communicated that kiss that wasn’t exactly what she meant. But she wasn’t sure she was allowed to discuss intimacy with a group of college kids, erm, adults.

Damn, she was a great yoga teacher. I really hope she knew that.

See also 5 Mistakes (Almost) Every Yoga Teacher Makes

Mindfulness and Intimacy?

At 19, I knew little about intimacy with a beloved or anyone else. It was still this mysterious thing that was dangerous and naughty. It could end in a broken heart (at best) or a positive pregnancy test and the end of life as I knew it (at worst). And we think teenagers are so interested in the subject because of their hormones…

Anyhoo, I didn’t have a beloved. 

And yet I understood what she meant.

Mindfulness happened when you experience something so profound and meaningful that you want to take in every little part of it—the sensations in your body, the warmth on your skin, the scent in the air. You want to absorb it all and linger in the moment. You never want it to stop.

It happens in those moments of intimacy with a beloved. 

And it can also happen on your yoga mat.

This was the first time I started to realize that I could be my own beloved. 

(Go ahead. Cue the Miley Cyrus song my kids love. But know that 21 years ago this was not a mainstream concept. Miley Cyrus was only 9 years old.)

Be Your Own Beloved

You can be your own beloved, too. 

You can be mindful and present for yourself when you unroll your yoga mat or sit to meditate. And you can be mindful and present for yourself when you are intimate—with a partner or alone if you know what I mean.

(If you need ideas for how this might work, try a vibrator* from an online store like LoveHoney—I love that they have discreet packaging and plenty of quiet options so no one has to know!) *sponsored

In both scenarios, sensations in the body are the catalyst to snapping you to attention. 

And they’re both healthy and good for your body and soul.

As a mom, no matter how old your kids are, it can be cathartic to shut the door and do something that’s just for you, that brings you pleasure, and reminds you that you are so much more than the person who holds everything together. 

See also Why Every Mom Needs Yoga

You’re human. You have this amazing body that brought life into the world. You are so strong and capable and you also need to nourish yourself.

And that’s beautiful.

This is your reminder that there’s more than one way to practice mindfulness.

You can find moments of mindfulness in everyday moments, too.

And embrace with your beloved.

Those early morning cuddles with your baby or toddler.

A long walk with your dog.

Those moments when you’re “in the zone,” immersed in work that you love.

When you slow down and pay attention to a good meal.

It all counts. 

How are you practicing mindfulness and presence today?

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Namaste, mama!

I'm Erica. I'm a yoga teacher who helps pregnant and new mamas find more balance in their life through yoga, mindfulness, self-care, inspiration, community, and humor. I spoil my yoga students rotten (in a good way!), and it's my mission to teach mamas that it's not selfish to spoil themselves every now and then, too.

Recent Posts

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  • 5 Favorite Kids Yoga Poses
  • 20 Yoga Gift Ideas for Kids
  • My Favorite Yoga Warm Up Sequence + Videos
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About Spoiled Yogi

Erica Rodefer Winters is a yoga teacher who loves helping pregnant and new moms find more balance in life through yoga, meditation, self-care, and humor.

Latest Posts

  • 5 Yoga Cues to Help Students Tap into Their Intuition
  • 5 Favorite Kids Yoga Poses
  • 20 Yoga Gift Ideas for Kids
  • My Favorite Yoga Warm Up Sequence + Videos
  • 6 Life Lessons from Yoga Class

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